ABC’s of Life – R for Resentment

I Hate Your Face! – 3 Ways to Deal with Resentment.

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I Hate Your Face! – 3 Ways to Deal with Resentment.

Today, we are on the letter R – for Resentment.

“I Hate Your Face! – 3 Ways to Deal with Resentment”

So, I will get straight to the point: “I hate your face.” This urban saying means that seeing a person’s face produces extreme hate.

“I Hate Your Face” was quoted in a 2006 movie titled “Grandma’s Boy.”

A student utters in a robotic voice the words I hate your face when he sees another student in the hallway.

In a song titled “I Hate Your Face” by The Wilsons, in the chorus part, they say I hate your face – because I love your face.

That can be confusing and conflicting simultaneously. There is always an underlying reason why we feel the way we do about certain things; in this case, when you say or feel like you hate someone’s face, that usually means they have done something to hurt you or make you angry. Which at times could be the same.

Back in my day, it was I hate your guts that was expressing your extreme dislike for a person.

“I Hate Your Face! – 3 Ways to Deal with Resentment.“

Defined

Resentment is defined as bitter anger at having been treated unfairly.

After reading the definition –

Does anyone come to mind for you? If we were all honest, I am sure people have rubbed us the wrong way, said something, or did something to us that caused anger, hurt, and frustration.

And we either needed a break from them, or we truly at the time hated their face and wanted them far from us.

Maybe someone lied to you directly or spread false rumors about you that eventually reached your ears.

Or

(Maybe someone tells you I do not love you after you had sacrificed so much for the relationship).

And the conversation went something like this –

What do you mean you don’t love me anymore?!!? After all we have been through!

Or

Maybe the company you worked for decided to downsize, and you were one of the casualties and laid off, or they did not give you a good reason.

That conversation could have gone like this

I am fired after all I have done for this company?!!?

And Lastly

You thought you were in a committed relationship and realized you were not.

That conversation could have looked like this.

And what do you mean that is not my baby?!!? Or what do you mean you are leaving me for someone else?!!?

Resentment can come at you in many ways and forms.

Resentment can be as settled as –

Someone said something you did not like – and that started the path of Resentment towards them.

I used to watch reality crime shows. I stopped because I got too emotionally invested in the characters. I would walk away thinking how angry I would be if someone did something to my loved ones. I would think there would be no way I could forgive them.

I would feel anger and Resentment building up in me whenever I heard the name, saw their face, and so on. I would become bitter, angry, and stuck, And I was becoming that just by watching the show, so I stopped watching those types of shows to protect my peace. Life is a lot calmer for me nowadays…

But what if you cannot turn the channel?

What if you cannot just walk away as I did from the show?

Life can throw some real curveballs at us sometimes, and we find ourselves dealing with crazy situations and challenges that we never asked for. That’s just how life is sometimes.

And you know what? These tough times are our chance to show how strong we are. Instead of folding into these unfair things that have happened, we can take charge and tackle these challenges.

Then that means we are going to have to deal with it. Because our life is not a show but the real thing.

Remember, the whole idea of this blog is to fight for our peace because the benefits are life-changing and far outweigh the bad. It is important to remember that this blog’s core purpose is to actively promote and strive for inner and outer peace, as its positive impact on us outweighs any potential negativity. I learned somethings and that is why I wrote –

I learned three ways to handle resentment and not let it get the best of me.

Pull Back

Regroup

Get Support

Pull Back –

Sometimes, I may need to go to my corner and pull away from the situation if I start saying what is on my mind at the time. It gets ugly – I mean ugly, and things are worse. I have learned to allow no one or situation to take me out of who I am or, in other words, to take me there. So, I pull back to –

Regroup

not to run away from the situation but to figure out what just happened here and what or where I go from here. Did I just get fired? Did they lie to me? Did they just leave me?

Get Support

I surround myself with my support system – Sometimes, I share what’s going on, sometimes I don’t. I sometimes want to be in the presence of unconditional love to clear my head.

And this is a process to help me get through. Because the truth is you can not and should not stay in that place for too long. You will hurt yourself and those around you in the long run.

^{Ecclesiastes 7:9} states that “Anger resides in the bosom of fools.” In other words –

Anger tends to dwell within the hearts of those who may not be as wise.

^{Proverbs 15:1} states that a soft answer turns wrath away, but a harsh word stirs anger. In other words –

A gentle response can diffuse anger, whereas speaking harshly only escalates the situation.

^{Ephesians 4:26} – Be angry but sin not; do not let the sun go down on your anger. In other words –

Acknowledging our anger and frustrations is important, but let’s strive to handle them constructively. Remember, it’s alright to feel upset, but it’s best not to let it linger for too long. Let’s work towards finding resolution and peace before the day ends.

I can be angry, but I do not have to bring everyone down when I am.

There are many benefits to letting go of Resentment

It clears your mind.

It clears your heart.

You can hear God with clarity and clearly.

Your relationships are delightful.

There is such a feeling of freedom

God has many blessings waiting for you when you let go of Resentment

The longer you stay in the resentment mode, the more it cheats you out of a positive relationship with those around you.

You will get direction in your life

You are not anxious

I Hate Your Face! – 3 Ways to Deal with Resentment.

You are not hostile.

These are the things I have learned over the years about working through and getting over Resentment.

It was trial and error, with many mistakes, but I am better today than yesterday. I have learned that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.

I ran across this article and thought I would share it.

9 Ways to Let Go of Resentment (and Move On With Your Life) (trackinghappiness.com)

Accept what happened-

Accepting what happened is good because realizing you have no control over another will help you focus on moving on and letting go of the Resentment.

Practice forgiveness –

When you learn to forgive, it protects your mind and protects you from getting victimized again. Forgiveness does not mean you agree with what they did to you. It just means you choose to love yourself and move on.  

Realize that you cannot control everything –

Make a list of the things you can control, those you have influence over but cannot control, and those you have no influence over and cannot control.

Try not to be a people-pleaser

Take care of your needs first. If you inventory your life and find that you take care of others before you take of yourself or neglect your needs to help others, this may be a time to take inventory and readjust.

Also, if you find that they are unavailable for you when you need them, that may be another sign you are a people-pleaser.

Be more assertive in your communication.

You show people how you want to be treated. Communicate to them your desires. Or your expectations in the relationship.

Setting boundaries always helps.

Practice mindfulness –

In other words, start meditating, and you can start with your breathing; this center you, gets you calm, and helps you work towards your inner peace.

Write down your feelings.

Writing it out helps refocus you. Journaling does wonders, and I am a true advocate of it. It releases anger, helps you to see clearly, and helps you to refocus.

Talk to a friend.

Sometimes, all you need is your friend to be there in your corner, empathize with you, and help steer you towards healing from this Resentment. You know that if the shoe were on the other foot, you would be there for them.

Talk with a therapist.

If it is something you cannot get through, it may be time to talk to someone with suggestions. Who is trained or called to help others in their time of need – Speaking with your pastor or a therapist may help if you are willing to listen and do what they suggest.

You want to get to a place where it will not get you off focus, even when you see their face or hear their voice them.

Suppose you are going through Resentment now. I pray that God guides, protects, and gives you wisdom and peace in your decision. I hope this has helped someone, somewhere, somehow.

In Jesus Name – Amen

This blog is dedicated to unraveling the timeless wisdom found in the Bible. Wisdom is not confirmed to a select few; it is a gift valuable to all who seek it.

I look forward to us going on this peace and wisdom journey together.

As always, thank you for being here with me on this day – Today. See you next week!

GRACE AND PEACE