ABC’s of Life I for Incompatibility

Understanding Incompatibility in Relationships: What You Need to Know – I

Hi, And Welcome To the A.B.C.s of S.U.P., Journal. And we are working with the letter I this week. 

I Created The A.B.C.S Of S.U.P. (Seek Understanding And Peace)

Because Sometimes, We Don’t Realize Our Minds, Body, And Spirits Are Searching and Seeking to Lead Us Towards Inner and Outer Peace. Why? Because having peace helps us to rest and sleep better. Psalms 4:8

Each week I will take a letter of the alphabet, and we will see how that word can fit into our life of peace. Sometimes I will work with our outer peace and sometimes the inner peace. Last week we discussed H-Hindrances and worked with our peace.

Unfortunately, some choose things that will give them temporary peace but, in the end, reap devastating results like drug addiction, alcohol abuse, and unhealthy relationships.

The purpose of this journal

It is to inspire, motivate, and encourage you, hopefully.

Many roads can lead to peace. Sometimes we need to take it day by day, peace by peace. I want to share stories and see how other people are making their peace journey, and who knows, we may be able to incorporate some of the ideas into our lives.

Each Week, You Will Get A Release Of My Podcast (Audio) And Journal (Written).

As Promised, Here We Go! This Week We Are on The Letter I for Incompatible.

So Let us begin

Incompatible

When I see or hear the word incompatibility, it means something or someone doesn’t go with something or someone else. In other words, the two do not mix; it is like oil and water– they just do not fit, no matter how hard they try. You can be incompatible with many things, such as your job and you feel it right away most of the time.

You can be incompatible with people; there is something about the person for whatever reason that you don’t like; the two of you, as they say, are just not clicking. There are many signs when two people are not harmoniously together. But first, let’s look at a few signs when two people are on the same page or are compatible.

1. They connect on most levels – they get each other.
2. If they have not seen each other for a short or long time, they pick up from where they left off. Time and distance do not interfere with their connectedness.
3. They understand each other
4. And they understand each other’s love language.

I will write on the incompatibility of two partners this time.

18 Signs You And Your Partner Are Incompatible (aconsciousrethink.com)

This article made some excellent points, and I will share a few of them.

Here are some signs you and your partner are not on the same page; one person told me she and her husband are not even in the same book!

Unclear Future

If you have been dating for a while and there is never any talk about your future together unless you bring it up, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Or if you mention marriage and it is always an argument, your partner is telling or showing you that they do not see their future with you.

I have learned that when a person wants something or someone, they will go after them because they do not want to lose them—that person adds value to their life. If they want to be with you, they will not continually make excuses not to be with you.

They could be waiting for a better opportunity, or you are already giving them Everything they want, so why commit to anything further? What would be the point? This is one of the signs that two people are incompatible. One wants a future while the other one does not.

Argue Constantly

Now before you call it quits, hear me out. There are going to be disagreements; that is part of any relationship. There will be disagreements, and there may be a season of arguments. Maybe you guys are trying to decide on life-altering things like moving, how many children to have, in-laws, and finances and can’t agree. That is understandable and normal. But most compatible couples get through it by coming out on the other side, better understanding each other’s needs, and compromising.  

The word here is constantly, which means continually, all the time. You can not remember the last time you two spent an entire day without arguing. If you took an inventory of your relationship and realized that you had argued more than not, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.  

• Constantly Arguing is stressful, and there is no peace for you and the household.
• I will put a pin here to say if there are unresolved issues that the two of you have not addressed this; could lead to constant arguing.

Cannot Be Yourself

Imagine being unable to be authentic because who you are with doesn’t appreciate or understand it. Not being able to be your authentic self could be huge because what could happen is this could breed resentment. Whenever you two are together, instead of enjoying each other’s company, you are worried about upsetting the other person if you act a certain way.

That suppression can wear you down, which could appear as depression, anger, sickness, or, worse, finding someone who would appreciate your authentic self. If you have to hide who you are, you two may not be compatible.

You Two Do Not Have the Same Interest

You two do not have the same interest in pretty much anything in your relationship. From cuisine to how late to stay up, attending different churches, do not pool finances together, do not like the same shows or movies. You two look and act single. I do know some couples like that. I do not know if, at one time, they did have some common interest and grew apart or ignored all the signs of them not having any interest together and still got together.

Different Love Language

The Five Love Languages: Everything You Need To Know! (aconsciousrethink.com)

According to Dr. Chapman, an anthropologist and philosopher, there are five love languages.

• Words Of Affirmation
• Acts Of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch

You must understand each other’s love language to be and stay connected.

For example: Let’s talk about Fred and Eve.

Fred shows his love for Eve by cutting the yard, going to work, and paying bills. Eve appreciates it somewhat, but she wants Fred to spend quality time with her.

When Eve expresses herself to Fred, he takes offense to it because, in his mind, he is showing her affection and love when he goes to work, pays bills, and cuts the yard. If the two of them do not have an honest conversation and come to an understanding, both will always be frustrated. Fred will start to feel unappreciated, and Eve may feel unloved and unwanted.

What are some things you can do if you recognize your relationship is dealing with some incompatibility issues?

• You just took the first step in recognizing that your relationship needs help.
• You have to be willing to put in the work and time to become compatible.
• And you have to be willing to see where you are coming up short and need to improve some things in the relationship, for example, understanding their love language or taking an interest in at least one of their interests or the both of you choosing one together that you can enjoy.
• Try seeking counseling if there are some unresolved issues.

Are you in a relationship of incompatibility? It does not mean it has to end, or you both do not have to live in misery if you are willing to work hard. Please share in the comment section below.

Don’t forget to add to your S.U.P. Journal

by the end of the year, you will have some great ideas for maintaining your peace and be able to share and encourage others.

Next week we will talk about a word that begins with the letter J that can help us on our journey of peace if we make peace with this word.

And lastly, if you do not want to miss one podcast or blog subscribe to https://seekingpeacepurpose.com or interested in receiving updates and the quarterly newsletter, The Run-Down of S.U.P., sign up today. I post twice weekly. Mondays and Tuesdays.

As always, thank you for being here with me on this day – today. See you next week!

GRACE AND PEACE

In case you missed It – The Importance of Honoring All Mothers